


I Wear My Heart On My Skin

by strawberrylovely



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Deadpool - Fandom, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spiderman - Fandom, spideypool - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Spideypool - Freeform, breif johnny storm/peter parker, hopefully it's not too graphic it's just mentioned, if you like overused hollywood cliches but in gay form you'll love this fic, like very breif, they're not superheroes in this one sorry, thought i'd throw that in for the spidertorch fans (also because it helps with plot development)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-05-03 18:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5301905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrylovely/pseuds/strawberrylovely
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is based off of an AU that was sent to me by Furdonkadonk on Tumblr. "Deadpool heart scars au: So instead of normal scars, Wade's scars are usually shaped like hearts. However when ever someone hurts him either physically, verbally, and or emotionally, the scar heart(s) breaks apart and results in smaller bits of scar tissue scattered on his skin. But if someone were kind to him and gave him the love he deserves, a heart scar will form. (usually an old broken heart scar mends back together)" I took a few liberties in that instead of one at a time, a few at a time break/heal but that's just how i felt it as i was writing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Meeting

Waiting outside his apartment building for an hour, Wade finally realized his date for the evening had stood him up. When he called the phone number he was given, it turned out to be the number of the taco place a few streets from his apartment. As soon as he heard the waitress on the other end’s tired voice, he could feel his skin moving, a few more of his scars undoubtedly breaking, his body a collage of a million broken hearts, only a few untouched. Frustrated and (literally) heartbroken, he pulled himself together enough to order so he didn’t seem like an idiot who called for no reason. Besides, even people who get heartbroken still get hungry. He had hoped this one would be different. Maybe this one wouldn't be grossed out by his scars, maybe this one would see inside him and want to get to know him better. Obviously he was wrong. 

As he was nearing the corner to the restaurant and he noticed a few teenagers looking at him and sniggering. Thankfully, he had his hoodie with him in case it got cold, so he put it on and ducked his head as he entered the front door. He got to the To-Go counter and told his name, finally seeing the waitress from the phone’s face. She was pretty and had long blonde hair and it made Wade jealous. As she turned to give him his food, she audibly gasped upon seeing his face, which made Wade feel even worse than he already felt. She cleared her throat and finally gave him his food, Wade giving her a half-hearted smile before turning to leave. Before he could even take two steps, he heard the same waitress calling over her other waitress friend, asking her if she had seen the guy she just gave food to with a “really scarred face”. Wade just kept on walking, used to people making fun of him. However, he stopped when, to his surprise, she started complimenting him rather than making fun.

“He had the prettiest eyes I think I’ve ever seen. I’m scared I may have hurt his feelings when I gasped. I didn’t mean to but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone with that many scars, and I swear some of them looked like little hearts. He was kind of beautiful, you know? In his own way.”

Wade just stood there for a moment, in the middle of the busy restaurant, not exactly sure what to do. _Maybe she was kidding? No, she sounded sincere. Should I go over and tell her I heard her and thank her for what she said? Or maybe—_

His pondering was cut short when all of a sudden a few feet from him he heard, “Hey! Ugly! You’re making it hard for us to eat over here. Either find a dark place to sit or leave, why dontcha?” followed by howls of laughter from the other people at that table.

Wade looked over and saw who it was, a group of frat boys, who all looked like they had had too much to drink. Wade, really wanting to punch the guy, but not willing to make a scene, was about to run out the door when behind him he heard another voice

“Hey, why don’t you leave the poor guy alone? Besides, you’re one to talk.”

Wade looked behind him and saw another college-aged looking kid with messy brown hair and glasses, standing up to walk over to Wade. Wade noticed he was sitting by himself with his laptop and a few open books. Next to Wade this guy probably seemed scrawny, but looking close (and Wade did), one would see that he actually looked pretty buff, for a nerd.

“What’d you just say to me?” the frat boy responded, getting up quickly and almost stumbling over before straightening himself and puffing his chest.

The kid next to Wade just laughed and said “Oh, come on, sit down before you hurt yourself, Eugene.”

Wade and the other frat boys at the table all laughed at the name, and Eugene started angrily coming for the messy-haired kid, before running into the same waitress that had given Wade his food, her tray of food she was delivering to a table exploding over both of them. Wade quickly helped the fully embarrassed and exasperated girl to her feet. They both looked at each other and smiled, before Wade was being pulled by his arm towards the front or the restaurant. It was the kid, who had gathered all his stuff in the time it took for Wade to help the waitress, who was now pulling him out the front door, trying to avoid a bigger mess with Eugene and his douche friends.

Once they were out of the restaurant, they both started laughing, neither really knowing why but it felt like the right thing to do in the moment. After their laughter died down a bit, Wade instantly felt awkward, not sure what he should do for the second time that evening. As he began wondering what to do, his thoughts were interrupted once again, only this time with an outstretched hand toward him and a voice saying “Nice to meet you. I’m Peter Parker.”

Wade stared at Peter’s hand for a second before taking it and saying “Wade. Wade Wilson. Nice to meet you as well. And uh, thanks for, you know... back there.”

“No problem, man. I uh—” Peter cut himself off, noticing the sad look on Wade’s face.

“Hey are you alright? Don’t take anything Eugene says seriously okay? Ignore him, he’s a huge jerk, especially when he’s drunk. Sometimes he needs to be knocked down a few pegs.”

“Yeah, there seems to be a lot of jerks in this city recently.” Wade responded, remember why he had originally been there tonight in the first place. He had felt more of his scars break when he heard the rude comment made by Eugene, and even if Peter said to ignore him, he couldn’t.

They both fell quiet for a few moments before Peter broke the silence.

“Oof, it’s getting kinda cold now, isn’t it? You- you wanna go get some coffee or something? Just to get away from here and to get out of the cold?”

As much as Wade hated being pitied, especially by cute nerdy guys that he had no chance with, he couldn’t refuse his offer. He was cold now as well and coffee with this cutie sounded perfect.

 

They walked a few blocks before finding the coffee place that looked like the only customers would be hipsters and it would play weird indie music with low lighting.

“I don’t come here very often, but it has good coffee and it’s a good place to just sit down for a while. And you could probably eat your food in there too, they don’t usually mind outside food.”

“Oh uh, yeah that sounds good.” Wade just remembered his to-go order from the restaurant and was now feeling very self conscious about how much food he actually ordered. He hadn’t planned to be going anywhere but home to drown his sorrows in tacos.

Once they settled in with their coffee, Wade put his sack of tacos on their table and got one out, holding it towards Peter “Do you want some? I got a lot more than I should probably eat.” Wade then remembered that Peter had been at the restaurant as well and had probably eaten before Wade had showed up. “Uh I mean you’re probably not hungry since you were at the restaurant but maybe you could take some home or something or—”

“Yeah actually, I might take a couple. We left before my food got there, so I haven’t eaten.”

Relief flushed over Wade as he handed a few tacos to Peter.

 

They ate for a while, seeing who could eat more (Wade won after Pete quit at 7) and joked about the weird music that was playing while they finished their coffees. The two talked about anything and everything, from Peter’s senior year in college to Wade’s first pet. They ended up being the last ones there, only leaving when the manager said it was closing time.

They walked out of the coffeeshop together and they both shivered when they realized it was at least 15 degrees colder than when they got there. They started walking back the way to the taco place from earlier that evening.

“Can I walk you home?” Peter asked suddenly. Wade seemed genuinely surprised that Peter had spent all evening with him and yet still wanted to be around him.

“If you want to. I’m the opposite direction though, so if you get pneumonia from the cold, it’s completely your fault.”

Peter laughed at that and said he didn’t mind. Wade had realized that throughout the course of their evening together he had fallen in love with that laugh. He could listen to it all day every day. And he _really_ wanted to.

When they finally reached Wade’s apartment building, they were both freezing. Nonetheless, they stayed outside to talk for a minute before parting. Peter gave Wade his number so that they could see each other again, and had Wade text him so he could get his number as well. The fact that it was actually his _real_ number made Wade smile brightly.

After a moment, he noticed Peter staring at him. “...what, dude?”

Peter breathed out a smile before answering, “Nothing, it’s just...you have a really great smile.”

Wade felt like a stupid school girl talking to her crush. How had he already fallen for this guy in only a few hours? He always fell too hard too fast, but this time it felt different. This time he let himself think that just maybe this person felt the same.

He realized he was just staring at Peter and hadn’t responded when Peter’s gaze changed. He wasn’t looking in his eyes, but rather at his face, at his skin. Wade felt self conscious again as Peter’s smile dropped and he looked like he was trying to see inside Wade’s head.

Wade looked down to stop Peter’s gaze and then at his apartment door. He started to say something when he felt two soft hands reach over and pull him into an even softer kiss. It only lasted a moment but for Wade it seemed like a lifetime.

He didn’t feel cold anymore. Wade kept his eyes closed for a second after the kiss, trying to stay in the moment for as long as he could.

When he opened his eyes, Peter was gone. For a second he thought that he had dreamed the whole thing and started to panic, when he heard Peter’s footsteps running across the street. “I expect you to call me tomorrow!” he called to Wade when he finally looked at him. He ran around the building across the street and then he was gone.

When Wade got back into his apartment, he went over everything that had happened that night. How it started off with him being alone and angry, and how it ended with him being kissed and feeling the most love inside as he had in a long time.

After a while of going over everything and telling himself that it was real, he went to the bathroom to take a shower. As he was taking off his shirt, he passed the mirror and did a double take. All of the scars on his face and a few on his chest had changed. They were hearts again. He hadn’t felt them change like he does when they break, so he hadn’t known. He then thought that that must be why Peter was staring at his skin, because he saw the scars changing. How did—

Peter.

_Peter._

Oh. His scars had changed because of Peter.

How fitting that his scars were hearts, because those hearts perfectly described how he felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I originally wrote this as a one-shot, but by request and after consideration there will be two(ish) more chapters coming. This fic is hopefully going to fulfill its "Fluff and Angst" (heavy on the "angst") tagging.  
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a comment, I'll totally respond!  
> Edit: It's been so long (like, 4 months ;-;) and I'm sorry, but I promise I have the next chapter almost finished! I've just been so busy and haven't had a lot of time to sit down and write. Hopefully I can find the time and get it posted fairly soon. <3


	2. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day after they first met, and Peter and Wade decide to go on an actual date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey wow, it's been...so long and I'm SO SORRY. School took up a lot of my time, not to mention writer's block and just...a few other excuses so you won't hate me. But HERE! is a new chapter, finally, after so long. And actually, it was going to be longer, but I felt it was long enough and I just wanted to get it published so you know I'm not abandoning this fic. Because I'm not. I have a lot of things planned, if only I could get them put onto a page instead of just in my head. So maybe expect a new chapter shortly (but also don't because you can see how long it took just for the second chapter). Thanks for reading, and your comments are very much appreciated! Tell me what you like, what you don't like, what maybe you hope will happen, or what you hope DOESN'T happen. ;) Thanks again! <3

“Hello?”  
“Hey Peter, it’s Wade.”  
“I know,” Peter said with a sleepy smile. “I just didn’t expect that when I told you to call me tomorrow, you’d call me first thing in the morning.”  
“I know. I’m sorry. Did I wake you up? I was just excited I guess. I couldn’t really sleep last night, I’m not sure why. Probably from eating too many tacos, heh. I made myself wait until it was a normal time for people to be awake. I guess I should’ve waited another hour.”  
Peter sat up and looked at the clock on his bedside table. 7:46. He had hoped to get another half hour of sleep, having to get up early today anyway. His boss, J. Jonah Jameson, wanted him in his office at 9 o’clock sharp. On a Saturday. He’d never admit it, but in the back of his mind he almost wished that his boss was calling him in to fire him. As much as he liked his job as a photographer for the newspaper, he really couldn’t stand his boss.  
Peter yawned before answering, “Yes, you woke me up. But it’s fine, I had to get up early anyway. I have a meeting at work in a little over an hour.”  
“Oh! That’s good then, I guess. What kind of a meeting does a photographer have to go to? I mean, I thought you just had to take pictures.” Peter had told Wade last night all about his terrible boss, and how he couldn’t wait to find a better job.  
“My boss called me in to his office. Honestly I’m not sure why.” Peter got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.  
“Hey Wade, I’m glad you called, but I have to get ready. Is there a specific reason you called, or did you just want to hear my voice?” Peter said cheekily.  
He heard Wade breathe out a small laugh before responding. “I uh, well I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to go to coffee again? But if you’re too busy today, we could maybe go tomorrow. Or whenever you’re not busy I mean, maybe it would be better if you planned… I mean if you want to, go out that is. Not that I'm asking you out or anything. Unless you want me to. I mean, I’m not trying to—“  
“I’d love to.”  
Peter realized at some point last night that he loved it when Wade got nervous and started talking fast. It was a quality about him that most people probably thought was annoying, but Peter thought it was endearing.  
“My meeting shouldn’t be longer than an hour or two, and then I have some errands to run. You wanna get lunch around noon? There’s this little cafe around the corner from the taco place we went to last night. We could go see a movie afterwards, if you’re up for it.”  
“That sounds great! You’re talking about Johnny’s right? Should I meet you there? Or…”  
“I was actually thinking about walking with you from your apartment, if that’s alright?”  
Wade was silent for a second before Peter heard him hesitantly answer.  
“…Sure. Yeah. That would be, uh, nice. Very nice of you. I’ll see you then.”  
Peter wondered why Wade had lost the excitement from his voice that he had moments ago. He could tell Wade was trying to hide whatever sadness that had just washed over him, so he decided to ignore it.  
They each said their goodbyes and Peter quickly got undressed and into the shower. As he was washing his face he thought of another face he had seen recently. A face covered with scars. Scars that he originally thought looked like little broken hearts. Scars that he could have sworn changed into tiny hearts under the dim street lamp outside of Wade’s apartment building. Scars that he didn’t think were ugly or gross, but instead rather beautiful and he wished he could trace each and everyone under his fingers.  
He then thought of kissing Wade, what that had felt like. What it was inside that made him reach over and intrude Wade’s personal space, he didn’t know, but he was so glad that he had, and that Wade had allowed him to. They’d only just met a few hours before but Peter felt like he had known Wade for years. There was a new sort of attraction that he'd never felt for another person before, one that both scared and excited him. He wanted so bad to keep kissing him. He saw the look on Wade’s face when he pulled away and knew if he hadn’t left when he did, he would never be able to leave whatever new world of pure bliss that he could feel himself being dragged into. He so badly wanted to keep kissing him. To kiss the scars on his cheeks, on his chin, on his nose. To kiss the ones trailing down his neck until—  
Peter turned the shower faucet all the way to cold.  
“Fuck! Cold, cold, cold!”  
He didn’t have time to think about such things; he had to be in Jameson’s office in 45 minutes.  
Ugh. Jameson.  
_That’s_ certainly a turn off.  
Peter quickly got out of the shower, got ready, and left for the bus stop, all the while thinking of little hearts.

 

As soon as Wade got off the phone with Peter, he started freaking out. He kept thinking of the night before; his date had planned to pick him up, but then never showed up.  
_What if that’s what Peter is doing? What if he’s lying and is just going to blow me off too? Why would a guy like him want to go on a date with someone like me? Wait…was it a date? He never said date. It definitely sounds like what a date is, dinner and a movie. Er, lunch and a movie._  
He had been pacing back and forth thinking of worst-case scenarios for half an hour before he decided to get ready to keep himself positive. He went to the kitchen to get a cup of much needed coffee before he started getting ready. He had told Peter that he couldn’t sleep and didn’t know why, but that was a lie. He knew exactly why he couldn’t sleep. He didn’t want to. He was scared that if he fell asleep that he’d wake up and find out that none of it was real. It was so hard for him to believe that an attractive guy like Peter was actually interested in him. After the phone call however, he knew there was no way he had imagined the whole thing.  
Once he finished his coffee, he went to the bathroom to freshen up. He brushed his teeth, gargled mouthwash, and even flossed for the first time in who-knows-when. He washed his face and picked out his best cologne, spraying it more than a teenage boy on prom night.  
It took him two hours to figure out exactly what to wear. After going through all the clothes in his closet, he figured he’d go with a dressy-but-casual look. He stepped in front of the mirror to examine himself. He was wearing his nicest pair of dark blue jeans, a black button-up shirt, and a maroon cardigan.  
“…I’m changing.”  
_I look like a friggin hipster. There’s_ no way _I’m gonna go out like this. Why do i even_ have _these clothes? And why did I actually put them on?_  
He walked back over to his closet, but before he could get anything off, his phone rang.  
“Hello?” he answered hastily, not looking to see who was calling him during such pressing matters.  
"Hey.”  
It was Peter.  
_Fuck._  
“Hey, Pete.”  
“Hey, uh so my meeting ended earlier than I thought, and I already finished my errands, so I caught a bus to your apartment. I probably should have called you on the way, but I wanted to surprise you...which I guess didn't work because I needed to call you to let you know I'm here." Wade heard Peter clear his throat, obviously feeling awkward about rambling. "Anyway, I'm here. I could just wait down here, or if you want I could meet you at your apartment if you're not ready..."  
"No!" Wade responded a bit too quickly. "I mean, I'm ready, I'll just come down to meet you. Right, uh…now. Let me just..." He didn't want to keep Peter waiting, so changing wasn't an option. He sighed to himself before grabbing his wallet, keys, and a big jacket in case he wanted to cover up his atrocity of an outfit. He really hoped Peter was into hipsters.  
"Alright I'm coming down now."  
"Great," he heard Peter respond before hanging up.  
Wade ran down the four flights of stairs instead of taking the elevator. He didn't want to waste any more of Peter's time, or give him a reason to leave before he got down there. Wade let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding when he saw Peter standing outside the building.  
"That was fast."  
"Hah, yeah I…took the stairs…I—the elevator is really slow here, it's kind of annoying. I wish they'd fix it."  
“Yeah?" Peter was smiling.  
_Well, this is off to a good start._ Wade berated himself for sounding stupid, but was cut short by Peter’s voice.  
"You look nice. I like your cardigan. It goes well with your eyes."  
"Uh..."  
"Oh that was... Weird. I'm sorry."  
"What? No, it was... Nice. I just, well I thought you'd hate it honestly. I was gonna change but --"  
"I don't think I could hate anything you'd wear. …I just mean, I wouldn't judge you. I don't care what you're wearing, I wouldn't even care if you wore a dress! Haha!"  
_Good to know._ Wade thought.  
"Anyway,” Peter continued, trying to sound normal and not like he had just word vomited everywhere. “I mean look what I'm wearing. I probably should have gone home and changed myself, but I couldn't wait to see you."  
Only after Peter had mentioned it had Wade actually noticed what he was wearing: a red v neck t-shirt, a pair of skinny khakis and a black beanie. His jacket was draped over what Wade guessed was his work bag, which was slung across his chest.  
There was a long moment before Wade said, ”You know what I think?"  
"Hmm?"  
"I think we're acting like teenager girls on a first date. Worrying about what we're wearing, what he thinks of our outfit, if he thinks we look hot. Which, I might add, you do.”  
“Yeah?” Peter asked with a smirk.  
“Oh yeah.” Wade said, and wiggled his hairless eyebrows.  
Peter couldn’t help but laugh and Wade joined in, relieving most of the tension in the air between them.

 

They arrived at Johnny’s cafe and sat across from each other in a small booth.  
“Okay,” Wade said, picking up his menu. “I’ve never been here before…What’s good?”  
“It kinda depends on what you’re in the mood for,” Peter said, eyeing his own menu.  
“I’m sitting across from him,” Wade said in a small voice, not looking up from his menu.  
_I shouldn’t have said that…_ He glanced up and noticed how red Peter’s ears and cheeks were getting. He was about to take it back when he noticed the smile creeping up on Peter’s face.  
“Excuse me, I’m a nice girl and I don’t kiss on the first date,” Peter replied, pulling his menu up over his nose and batting his eyelashes.  
“You’re right,” Wade lowered his menu and looked at Peter with a smirk. “You kiss the night _before_ the first date.”  
Peter’s eyes grew wide for a split second before he cleared his throat and went back to his menu, his face somehow redder than before.  
“Just makes me wonder what you do the night before the second date…”  
Wade didn’t need to look up to know the look on Peter’s face.  
Peter gasped and was about to say something back when the waitress appeared to take their order. They made eye contact and Wade winked at Peter, who glared back at him.

 

“Ugh that was sooo good,” Wade moaned as they walked out of the restaurant.  
“I know. It’s one of my favorite places to eat. We _have_ to go back there again sometime soon.”  
Wade smiled at the implications that Peter wanted to see him again. And _soon._ He looked down and saw that Peter’s hand was hanging down by his side. He considered it for a moment before reaching down and placing his hand in Peter’s. He avoided the other man’s gaze, not having the extra courage to look him in the eye to verify his actions. If Peter didn’t want to hold his hand, then he could easily pull away.  
Wade was waiting for the extra warmth in his hand to leave when instead, he felt a tight squeeze on his hand and then a head on his shoulder. He looked down and they made eye contact and time seemed to slow down.  
_That’s so cheesy._  
Wade slowed his walking, hoping to savor this moment in fear that this feeling he had would end abruptly.  
“Hey.”  
Wade looked up at the man beside him. “Hey, what?”  
“I’m glad I met you. I mean, I know we’ve only known each other for, well, not even a full day yet, but I feel like I’ve known you forever. And I also know that’s like the oldest line in the book, so you don’t have to tell me how cliché I sound. But I just wanted to say, that I’ve never connected to a person as much and as quickly as I have with you. You’re…really cool.”  
Wade wasn’t sure what to say. Well, he _wanted_ to say “I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE WE GET MARRIED AND HAVE LOTS OF CHILDREN AND MAYBE A FEW PETS AND WE CAN LIVE IN A HOUSE WITH A WHITE PICKET FENCE AND A POOL AND ONE DAY WE’LL RETIRE AND HAVE LOTS OF OLD PEOPLE SEX,” but he decided that was too weird right now, especially on a first date.  
“I…I’m really cool? How old are you again?”  
“Shut up,” Peter laughed.  
Wade laughed along, and then felt the other man pull on his arm.  
“Come on, I wanna get there with enough time in case they sell out of tickets.”  
Wade let Peter pull him down to the subway and onto a train.

 

“What movie are we seeing again?” Wade asked as they walked toward the ticket window at the theater.  
“Le Bouffon Vert!”  
“Isn’t that French?”  
“Yes, but it’s subtitled, _and_ it’s supposed to be really scary.”  
“Ugh, why a scary one?”  
“So that way if one of us gets scared, the other will protect him.”  
“You mean when _you_ get scared, I’ll protect you.”  
They shared a look before Wade stepped up to the window.  
“Two for _Le Buffon Vert_ ,” Wade said in a ridiculous accent that made the cashier giggle.  
“That’ll be $13.00, sir,” the young woman said, handing him the tickets.  
“You didn’t have to do that, Wade. I have money.”  
“And so do I. But this is a date. I think. Right?”  
“Yes, Wade, it’s a date.”  
“Right! So it’s only fair I pay for _something_.”  
They took each other’s hand and walked into the theater, sitting in their assigned seats.

 

“This is kind of…awful,” Wade whispered a few minutes into the movie.  
“I’ve heard it gets better towards the middle,” Peter tried, wincing at the terrible special effects.  
“I don’t wanna wait that long,” Wade replied with a yawn.  
“SHH!” someone behind them scolded.  
“Sorry,” they replied in unison before giggling to themselves.  
They had moved the middle arm up so they could lean into each other. Wade tried to keep his eyes open, but the movie and his lack of sleep the night before made it a struggle. It wasn’t halfway into the movie when he heard the slow breathing and quiet snoring of Peter on his shoulder that he finally let his eyes fall shut.

 

“Sirs? U-uh…Sirs? Hello…”  
“Five more minutes, mom…” Wade snuggled in closer to the warm body beside him.  
“Wade,” Peter said with a sleepy laugh. “Wade, the movie’s over.”  
He felt a gentle push on his shoulder as he opened his eyes. He looked over to see a red-haired, freckle-faced, teenage usher that obviously just got this job so he could buy his own Yu-Gi-Oh cards.  
“O-Oh…” Wade lifted his head off of Peter’s shoulder and stood up, awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact with the usher. He helped Peter to his feet and continued to hold his hand as he almost ran out of the theater.  
“Wade.” Peter said his name again, pulling him out of the embarrassed haze he was in.  
“Sorry,” Wade responded, letting go of his grip around Peter’s hand. “Sorry for falling asleep on you and not realizing the movie was over…and sorry if I hurt you when I basically dragged you out of the theatre.”  
Peter frowned and took Wade’s hand back in his. “No, it’s…” his words trailed off as he saw the embarrassed look on Wade’s scarred and red-flushed face. “It’s okay. You didn’t hurt me, and I don’t mind that you fell asleep on me. I mean, I kinda fell asleep on you too, heh.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and looked around for a second.  
“Thank you,” Wade responded, feeling less like a _complete_ idiot.  
“Hey, you’re weeAA-“  
Peter suddenly let out a loud yawn. His eyes grew wide as he saw other movie-goers looking at him with a weird expression and he looked back at Wade before they both bursted into laughter.  
“Someone’s tired,” Wade said cheekily as they walked outside.  
“Hey, you’re the one that fell asleep on me in there.”  
“Only after you fell asleep on me.”  
“True, you got me,” Peter laughed with a hand up in surrender. “Hey, Wade? Can I walk you home?”  
“I’d be delighted.”  
Wade held his elbow out to Peter, who looped his own arm around it. Arm in arm, they walked out of the theater and toward the subway, neither of them talking, just enjoying each other’s company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You get a gold star if you got any of my references. ;)


	3. The Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! The third chapter is finally finished!! The beginning was originally supposed to go with the last chapter, but together it would have been sooo long, so I decided to divide them and create another chapter altogether. I plan to get at least one or two more chapters in here, so stay tuned! I haven't started writing the next part just yet but I have a lot more planned so hopefully I can steer clear of writer's block and get going on finishing this story!! Hope you enjoy, and if you do, please leave a comment telling me what you liked (or disliked) and what you'd like to see happen next! Thank you so much for going through this journey with me and the boys!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, side note: I always headcanon Wade's mom as loving and non-abusive like she's been portrayed in the comics. So just in case you feel weird about him loving his mom or anything, just know, in this story (and any of mine to be honest), Hailey Wilson was a happy and loving mom until the day she died. <3

Sometime between them getting off the subway and them reaching Wade’s apartment complex, it had started raining. They were both drenched and laughing, standing outside of the front entrance.  
“Do you wanna come in? It’s cold and wet and I don’t want you to have to walk all the way home in the rain by yourself.”  
“I don’t know, I mean-“  
“I have hot chocolate and some unopened Christmas pajamas with your name on ‘em,” Wade persuaded. “Well not literally your name, they have little reindeer and an inhumanly round santa, but you know what I mean.”  
Peter thought about it for a moment before smiling.  
“Okay.”

 

Wade let the shivering Peter into his apartment and shut the door behind them. He found the light switch and walked past Peter into the living room.  
“Home, sweet home.”  
“It’s… cute.”  
“‘Cute?’ Like, Grandma’s house cute, or like ‘I couldn’t come up with a better word without sounding offensive’ cute?” Wade said as he walked into his bedroom to find the pajamas.  
“Oh, no no…I just mean, it’s very… _you_.”  
“So, the second one, then,” Wade responded, walking back with the pajamas for Peter and a shirt and pants for himself.  
Peter gave Wade a look as he took the pajamas, red and with the exact reindeer and round santa Wade described.  
Peter surveyed the small, one bedroom apartment, with minimal furnishings, yet a lot of personality. Wade had a worn brown couch with a few stains and a little coffee table in front of it, a similarly colored but considerably less stained brown armchair, a small tv across the room, and a shelf on the far wall, littered with dvds, cds, and little nerdy trinkets of superheroes, anime characters, and…  
“Is that Elsa?”  
“That’s _Queen_ Elsa, to you.”  
“She’s not the only queen here…”  
“If you thought I’d take offense to that you’re highly mistaken, Peter darling.”  
There were a few posters on the walls, random decorations, string lights, curtains, and other eccentricities littered about the apartment, none of which coordinated with the other. The kitchen, if you could call it that, was connected to the living room and had a small square table with one chair. The only decoration being a fat chef holding a chalk board sign that said “Chef Wade.” The bedroom, on the opposite wall of the front door, contained the only bathroom.  
“If it’s alright, I’m gonna go change,” Peter said, nodding his head towards Wade’s bedroom.  
“Of course,” Wade gestured with an arm.  
Peter crossed by Wade and walked into the bedroom and closed the door. Wade sat down on the couch and turned on the tv to see if anything was on.  
As Peter walked through Wade’s room to get to the bathroom, he noticed the lack of personality the room had. There was only a bed and a night stand on one side and a small desk across from it. The mostly empty room felt like such a contrast to the room he was just in. Peter made his way into the bathroom to get changed.  
After hanging his clothes over the shower rod, mussing his damp hair a bit, and checking his teeth, Peter walked out of the bathroom in his new, less-damp outfit. He was about to open the door when he saw a small picture frame on Wade’s desk. He picked it up to get a better look, and saw a woman and a small boy. The boy was undoubtedly a young Wade, tiny little red hearts adorning his smiling face, a smile Peter recognized almost before the scars. He remembered Wade telling him that he’d had the scars since birth. (Well, actually he sang it: “I was born this way, hey!”) Peter smiled fondly at the memory and looked to the woman he guessed was Wade’s mother. She looked young as well, couldn’t be much older than he and Wade were now. She had beautiful blonde hair, just like little Wade, and was wearing the same smile. She, however, was missing the tiny hearts. Peter ran his fingers over the picture, wiping some dust away before putting it down and walking back into the living room.  
“Took you long enough,” Wade said as soon as Peter was back in the room. “And you called _me_ the queen.”  
Peter noticed that Wade, now standing, had changed as well, and had put on the shirt and shorts he’d brought out with the pajamas.  
Peter was taken aback. He knew the hearts were all over Wade, Wade had told him the night before at the coffeeshop, but he hadn’t imagined it to look like this. Peter knew he was staring, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Wade’s arms and legs were just like his face, only these scars were different. Peter saw that there were maybe 20 “broken” hearts for every full one. Peter didn’t really understand the scars, but he was almost positive that he saw the scars on Wade’s face change the night before, and the fact that there were so many “broken” ones made Peter sad and angry at whatever caused them to look that way. He didn’t realize it had shown on his face until Wade spoke up.  
“Sorry. This is what I usually wear to bed. I can change if—“  
“No! Uh, no, it’s—it’s okay Wade. I’m sorry for staring.”  
Peter hadn’t noticed how he had been gradually getting closer until Wade plopped down on the couch, ripping Peter from his daze.  
“I, uh, found a movie we could watch,” Wade pointed at the TV. “I know we just came from a movie, but as soon as we walked in I realized… I-I don’t have much for entertainment.”  
“It’s okay, Wade,” Peter said as he sat down next to Wade. “I feel like we owe it to ourselves to watch a decent movie after how much of a fail the other one was.”  
“Well, if you think Hallmark movies are decent.”  
They sat in silence for some time, both staring at some old western classic on the tv that neither really seemed into. Peter could feel the tension coming off of Wade more and more as the minutes passed. He felt bad that he had been staring at Wade for so long and he knew the scarred man thought Peter had been totally grossed out. Which was the opposite of what really happened. And Peter needed Wade to know that.

 

“Hey, Wad-“  
“I’m gonna go ge-“  
They stared at each other a moment before smiling.  
“Sorry, what were you saying?”  
“You go first.”  
“Uh,” Wade started awkwardly, “okay, well I was just gonna go get my hoodie.”  
“Oh. Are you cold?”  
“No,” Wade looked down at the couch.  
“Then why-“  
“Well I just thought, you know, it might be easier for both of us if I covered up. There’s no need for me to be showing this much skin, I mean, it’s only the first date, and I don’t want you to think I’m _that_ kind of girl, you know? Heh.”  
Wade got up and moved towards his room before he felt a soft hand grab his rough one.  
“Wade. Please, sit down.”  
Wade stood still for a moment and then looked back at Peter.  
“But-“  
“You don’t need to cover up. Like I said before, I don’t care what you wear. That includes tank tops and booty shorts.”  
“You call _these_ booty shorts? Honey, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”  
“Wade, I’m serious.”  
Wade took a deep breath and sat down on the couch again, this time he sat sideways facing Peter. Peter himself turned sideways so he could stare directly at Wade. They sat like that for a few minutes, Peter still holding on to Wade’s hand.  
“So,” Peter finally said, breaking the silence, “Does it hurt?”  
Wade was taken aback by the question. Everyone usually just laughed or looked at him with pity because of how ugly he was. No one had ever asked if it hurts.  
“Uh, not really anymore. When I was younger, I remember I had to get shots every month so the pain would go away. I stopped after…after my mom died. So many of them broke then. The pain I felt was probably the worst I’ve felt my whole life. The shots didn’t help. After a few weeks of the constant agony, I couldn’t feel anything anymore. Including emotions. I didn’t need the shots anymore. And when the inevitable pain came back, I refused to take them ever again. I’ve kind of gotten used to it by now. The only time I really feel them now is…when they break apart.”  
“Can…can I touch you?”  
Wade nodded his head softly as he looked at the ground behind Peter. He felt Peter release his hand, as smooth fingers lightly touched his face. He took a shaky breath as Peter’s fingers brushed across the coarse texture of his cheek. Wade didn’t realize he’d closed his eyes until he felt Peter’s thumb graze over his eyelashes.  
“Does it hurt when I touch you?” Peter asked, running the thumb down to trace over Wade’s lips.  
“N-no,” Wade spoke in barely a whisper.  
“When they re-form?”  
Wade cleared his throat and looked up at Peter.  
“I don’t even feel it. At all. It took me a long time to figure that out, actually. Not like I had many chances to figure it out anyway.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Have you seen my face? Not many people are nice to freaks like me.”  
“Hey, you’re not a freak, Wade.”  
“Ha, tell that to the voices in my head,” Wade said, trying to sound casual but instead sounding terrified.  
“Okay.”  
“Wha-“  
Wade felt his head being gently pulled towards Peter’s face.  
“You’re not a freak.” Peter’s mouth was against Wade’s forehead as he spoke, as if he was actually trying to tell the voices in his head. “You’re beautiful. And handsome. And funny and so kind and you ramble when you’re nervous and you had a pet dog named Ira when you were 5 and call yourself ‘Chef Wade’ and you talk in funny accents…and-”  
Wade wasn’t sure when he started crying; Peter seemed to notice at the same time he did. Without a moment’s notice, Peter lifted Wade’s face up to his and pressed their lips together. They stayed like that for several seconds, the only movement Wade’s occasional sobs. Finally, Peter pulled away and looked at that scarred face, flushed red and wet with tears. Wade opened his eyes when he felt Peter’s hands again on his face. Peter was wearing a small smile as he gently wiped Wade's face clean. Wade couldn’t help but smile too. No one had been this kind to him in a very long time, and it warmed his heart to have someone who he’d only met the night before treating him with more kindness than he ever thought he deserved. He hated himself for falling so quickly, and if he didn’t know any better, he would have told Peter he loved him right then and there. Instead, he said the next best thing:  
“Thank you.”

* * *

_1 Year Later_

Peter was pacing back and forth, waiting for Wade to return to his, er _their_ , apartment. He’d sent him out to buy new lightbulbs because _somehow_ all of the lightbulbs in the apartment stopped working at the same time…  
Okay, Peter really just needed Wade to leave the apartment while he set up candles, put on mood music, and ordered take out from their favorite taco place down the street. Everything was ready, the only thing missing was Wade. Meaning, as he waited, Peter had time to psych himself out that he would mess the whole evening up.  
Eventually, Peter heard footsteps out in the hall which meant Wade was about to walk in. Peter ran to the door and opened it just as a little old lady who lived next door was walking by. Peter’s face fell as he saw the old woman jump in surprise.  
“Sorry, Ms. Finkleman…”  
Ms. Finkleman muttered something about how she “thought it was bad before, and now there’s two of ‘em” while Peter, thoroughly embarrassed, shut the door. He was about to call Wade when the door swung back open.  
“Yeah, you too, Ms. Fink! Good night!” Wade called out as he walked in. “Oh, what a woman…uhh, what’s going on in _here_?”  
“Happy Anniversary, Wade.”  
Wade set the lightbulbs down on the couch and walked over to Peter in the kitchen.  
“Anniversary?”  
“Of the first day we met.”  
“Oh, thank God. I thought we’d gotten married and I somehow forgot.”  
_Not yet, anyway,_ Peter thought.  
“Actually, Wade. I’d like to talk to you about something.”  
“Are you breaking up with me?” Wade said dramatically.  
“Wha- do you really think I set this all up to break up with you?”  
“I don’t know, it could be like one of those “last supper” things.”  
Peter just smiled and shook his head, then took Wade’s hands in his own.  
“No, Wade. I need to ask you something.”  
Peter dropped to one knee and pulled a little box out of his pocket.  
“Will you marry me?”

Wade’s mouth opened and he smiled. Immediately, he bent over and kissed Peter, pulling him to stand up. They both started grinning like complete idiots and pulled apart.  
“So, is that a yes?” Peter said with a smirk.  
“You bet your tight ass it’s a yes.”  
“Oh, _I_ have a tight ass? I thought that was you.”  
“Well, yeah. But not for much longer.”  
Wade winked and walked Peter over to the couch.  
“Lewd.”  
“Oh, you know it.”  
Wade pushed Peter over the arm of the couch, ready to climb on top when there was a loud _crunch!_  
“…Wade-“  
“I’ll get more lightbulbs tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for the angst. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> Oh, what's that? You thought this was as angsty as it got?  
> You were fine with this happy little ending??  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> whoops


	4. The Almost Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun facts about this chapter:  
> It's a gay wedding!  
> It's an outdoor wedding!  
> The waitress from the taco place that they met at is at the wedding I just didn't write her in!  
> It's a very short chapter because!! I don't have an excuse!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

“Red? Or blue?” Peter switched between holding the red tie and the blue tie against his neck for Wade to see.  
“Hmmm…red. It’s both of our colors.”  
“You’re right.”  
Peter put went back into the bedroom to put the ties away and walked back into the living room holding a small piece of paper.  
“Here, read this, make sure you like what it says. I’m gonna have the invitations made today and I want to make sure they’re perfect.”  
" _Save the date! You are cordially invited to witness PETER BENJAMIN PARKER and WADE WINSTON WILSON as they are joined in holy matrimony. Twentieth of November, Two Thousand Seventeen_ "  
The day they met almost two years ago. There was no question on what day they should choose when they were figuring out the date. Both of them were far too sentimental to choose any other day. Wade smiled as he read the date, then laughed and handed the paper back to Peter.  
“Pete, don’t you think that’s a little _too_ formal? Why not just say ‘We’re getting married. Come.’ I think that’ll suffice.”  
“You really hate it?”  
“Babe… _cordially?_ Come on. At least use numbers for the date.”  
Peter chuckled as he leaned over and kissed his fiancé.  
“Okay, you win, I’ll change it. But I’m not just putting ‘come.’ That’s far too suggestive.”  
Peter winked and Wade watched him walk back into the bedroom, his smile fading as Peter crossed the threshold.

Wade had been having a weird couple of months before the wedding. He was very excited, of course, but he couldn’t escape the voices in his head. Peter, on the other hand, was having the time of his life. All he talked about was the wedding, what flowers they should have, what colors they should wear, whether it should be indoor or outdoor, every little detail imaginable. Wade loved how Peter would always get really into a project, wedding included. But to Wade, it all just seemed so foreign. Never in a million years would he have thought that he would be choosing between roses and peonies. That night the two met, if someone had told him that two years from then he’d be a married man, he would have laughed in that person’s face. He never thought he’d ever be able to find someone that would love his ugly mug, especially not someone like Peter. Peter, who was gorgeous, funny, smart, kind and so many other wonderful things. Wade didn’t know what it was that made a guy like that fall for a guy like him, but it was the best thing to ever happen to him. _Peter_ was the best thing to ever happen to him. He’d never had this many full hearts on his body before. He loved Peter so much.

And that’s why he couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t marry Peter. The voices in his head kept telling him that Peter deserved better, he deserved someone prettier and happier and someone who others wouldn’t call him crazy for being with. That he should just leave now so Peter could have a better life without him and without his ugly face to wake up next to every morning. Peter deserved someone who didn’t have so much baggage and who wouldn’t be a pain to look at. Someone that wasn’t Wade.  
Of course, Wade never found the right time to tell him that, because Peter seemed so happy when he talked about the wedding. Wade didn’t want to break his heart by ruining everything he’d worked so hard on. Every time he mustered up the courage to say something, he’d take one look at Peter’s face, smiling at him, and he’d push it to the back of his mind and smile right back.  
Unfortunately for Wade, he ran out of time, and the day was here before he knew it. They’d both agreed not to see each other before the wedding, so as not to jinx anything; Wade was in his dressing room, getting his tie fixed by Peter’s aunt.  
“Oh, you both look so handsome in your tuxes,” Aunt May told him, finishing up the tie. She put her hand on his cheek and smiled that Parker smile before leaving to go check on Peter.  
Wade wished that he could see Peter right now. He wanted to see his smiling face that would melt all of Wade’s doubts away. He wanted to tell Peter how beautiful he was. He wanted to tell him how much more beautiful he would look with someone else up there with him. He wanted to say he was sorry.

 

With Aunt May on his arm, Peter walked down the aisle, smiling at the guests as they passed. There weren’t many guests, Peter and Wade both only having a small number of friends and family between them. But those who were there made it all the more special. Even Ms. Finkleman was there. As Peter got to the end of the aisle, he let go of May, letting her kiss his cheek before she sat down, and took his place at the altar. Peter took a few deep breaths as he heard the wedding march begin. The guests all stood up and faced the back, and Peter smiled, waiting for his soon-to-be-husband to come around the corner and walk down that aisle to him.  
Except he didn’t. The march kept playing and Peter got more and more worried by the second. He figured Wade was just late, but when the guests started whispering at the return of the third chorus, Peter knew something was wrong. Peter told the pianist to stop playing and ran down the aisle, Aunt May trailing behind him, telling the guests to “please sit back down for the time being.” Peter ran inside, straight to the dressing room area and knocked on the door into Wade’s room. When there was no answer, he opened the door and saw an empty room. Peter was beginning to get hysterical, when he looked down at the vanity and saw a rose with a little note that said his name. He picked them both up and read:

_Peter, I hope one day you can forgive me. I’m so sorry. Please don’t think it’s your fault. But I can’t do this. I can’t stand at that altar next to you knowing full well that you could be happier with someone else. Thank you for caring about me and thank you for giving me more love and kindness than I deserve. You deserve the world, baby boy, and I don’t deserve you. I love you, and I will always love you. Goodbye._

Aunt May reached the dressing room just as Peter finished reading the note. He collapsed to the floor, clutching the rose in one hand, the note in the other, re-reading it over and over, trying to change the words, trying to make them disappear, the note getting harder and harder to read as the tears filled his eyes. Aunt May bent down and held her nephew as he sobbed into her shoulder. The guests started to trickle back inside as it started to rain, the storm drowning out Peter’s wails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.


	5. Anniversary Teaser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! It's been a while, I know. I haven't had much time to write, but I've got the rest of the story all planned out. I still haven't finished the next chapter, but I wanted to give a teaser since it's officially been a year since I started this fic! It's been a crazy year of ups and downs, inspiration and writer's block, but I never thought I'd ever make it this far. Thanks to everyone who's read and followed and supported this fic! You made all of this possible. So, without further ado, here's a short teaser of what's to come!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't read the summary, please do! <3

It’d been three years since Wade left. Three years since the broken wedding. Three years since Peter came home to a half-empty apartment. Three years of sleepless nights and random outbursts of tears. Three years of falling asleep on the couch because the bed was too empty. Three years for him to stop comparing everyone he meets to Wade. Three years for him to move on. Three years for him to find someone new.

Peter had gone on more dates than he could count, both with men and women, trying to find someone to take Wade's place. But no one ever could. That is, until he met Johnny, and he realized he'd been searching for something that wasn't there. He didn’t need someone to take Wade’s place, he needed someone that would help put those old feelings to rest. Peter had told Johnny towards the start of the relationship all about Wade and their life together. From what Wade looked like, to how he'd left Peter standing at the altar, saying that he was finally willing to give romance another chance, but that he'd like to take it slow. Johnny had quickly understood and always made sure Peter was comfortable. He was exactly what Peter needed. Peter decided he would never compare Johnny to Wade. And he didn't need to. They were completely different types of people, a change that Peter felt he really needed.

They'd only been dating for a couple of months, Johnny taking Peter to all different kinds of places, and Peter loving to try things he'd never dared to try before. He felt like he was starting to fall for Johnny, but there was still a big part of him that could not let go of Wade. Peter had a sharp reminder one chilly day in November, when Johnny took Peter to a certain taco restaurant that he had been avoiding the past three years. It was the restaurant at which he and Wade had met all those years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks you guys! There's more to come so stay tuned! <3


	6. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Wade see each other again for the first time in three years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! It has been WAY too long. I've had the worst writer's block, and then I sort of fell out of the Spideypool fandom for a while. It was a bit to difficult for me to feel like working on this fic due to personal reasons that I won't get into, BUT!!! I'm back!!! And i'm ready to finish this thing!! I guess the title of this chapter is fitting both for the content and for me, returning to finish! Thank you all for being patient and letting me work at my own pace (not that I gave you much of a choice LOL). There will be just a few more chapters before it ends! Just a warning, suuuuuper long chapter ahead, but let's hope the wait was worth it!!

It’d been three years since Wade left. Three years since the broken wedding. Three years since Peter came home to a half-empty apartment. Three years of sleepless nights and random outbursts of tears. Three years of falling asleep on the couch because the bed was too empty. Three years for him to stop comparing everyone he meets to Wade. Three years for him to move on. Three years for him to find someone new.

Peter had gone on more dates than he could count, both with men and women, trying to find someone to take Wade's place. But no one ever could. That is, until he met Johnny, and he realized he'd been searching for something that wasn't there. He didn’t need someone to take Wade’s place, he needed someone that would help put those old feelings to rest. Peter had told Johnny towards the start of the relationship all about Wade and their life together. From what Wade looked like, to how he'd left Peter standing at the altar, saying that he was finally willing to give romance another chance, but that he'd like to take it slow. Johnny had quickly understood and always made sure Peter was comfortable. He was exactly what Peter needed. Peter decided he would never compare Johnny to Wade. And he didn't need to. They were completely different types of people, a change that Peter felt he really needed.

They'd only been dating for a couple of months, Johnny taking Peter to all different kinds of places, and Peter loving to try things he'd never dared to try before. He felt like he was starting to fall for Johnny, but there was still a big part of him that could not let go of Wade. Peter had a sharp reminder one chilly day in November, when Johnny took Peter to a certain taco restaurant that he had been avoiding the past three years. It was the restaurant at which he and Wade had met all those years ago.

"Hope you like Mexican," Johnny said as he opened the passenger door to his car to let Peter out in front of the restaurant.

Peter felt like he'd just been hit in the stomach by a heavyweight boxer.

"Uh, y-yeah. I used to love this place," he said, trying to sound nonchalant. "I haven't eaten here in a long time..."  
"Perfect!"  
They walked in and were seated quickly at a small booth towards the back near the to-go counter.  
They had been there a while, and had already gotten their food when Johnny finally spoke up.  
"Okay Pete, what's wrong?"  
"What?" Peter tried. "Nothing's wrong." He looked back down, moving food around on the plate with his fork.  
"Peter, we may have not been dating for very long, but I know when something's up. You've been quiet the whole time and now you're not eating. So, what gives?"  
Of course _this_ was the one detail he'd left out when he told Johnny the entire story of his and Wade's relationship. He'd said they met at a Mexican restaurant, but he never said which one. He never said it was _this_ one.  
However he _had_ told him the date...  
“W-what day is it?"  
"It's Friday, why-"  
"Uh, no...what is the date today?"  
"It's the 20th, Pete. Why... _oh shit_..."

Johnny knew as soon as he saw Peter's face. Him being quiet and not eating, him asking about the date, him saying he hadn't eaten here in a long time, it was all coming together in Johnny's mind. Johnny felt so stupid. He should have remembered that this was the date that Peter had told him about. He sure could be a real hothead sometimes.

“Oh, Peter…I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think…”  
“It’s okay,” Peter said. “I’m okay, I promise. See?”

Peter faked a smile and took a big bite of his food. Unfortunately, like he’d imagined, the taste brought back memories he’d been trying to push down. Peter tried to calm himself. He didn’t want Johnny to feel bad. It wasn’t his fault that he hadn’t told him about the restaurant. It wasn’t his fault that Peter was feeling this way. It wasn’t his fault that Wade left.  
Peter sat up straight and put his fork down, staring right at Johnny.

“Listen. Please don’t feel bad. It’s my fault I didn’t tell you about this place, and I'm sorry. I don’t want this to ruin our evening. I know you are really trying and I really appreciate that. I’m trying too, but it’s hard sometimes. Thank you for being so understanding.” Peter put his hand on Johnny’s and smiled his first genuine smile of the evening, and Johnny smiled back.  
“You’re welcome, Peter.” Johnny intertwined their fingers and gave him a reassuring squeeze.  
“Also, I’m sorry that all I ever seem to talk about is him. I’m sure you’re sick and tired of hearing the name-“  
Just then, a mysterious figure walked through the front door and towards the to-go counter in the back of the restaurant. He’d recognize that hoodie anywhere - he’s worn it enough times. The figure’s head was bowed, but Peter could still see the scarred skin shadowed by the hood that confirmed who it was.  
“W-Wade?” Peter said, his voice going quiet.   
He saw Johnny look behind him to see the same hooded figure walking past their table on the opposite side of the room. Time seemed to slow down for a second as the past three years finally caught back up to Peter. Johnny must have noticed, because the next thing Peter heard was, “Well, what are you waiting for? Go get him.”  
Peter tore his gaze away from the hooded figure and looked at Johnny.  
“What?” Peter’s eyes were watering.  
“Listen Pete, these past few months have been really great. I think I’ve been good for you, and I know you’ve been good for me. And as much as I really do have feelings for you, I know you’re not gonna ever be over him. Not until you get closure at least. So go get him. Punch him if you need to, but at least go and talk to him. If it doesn’t work out, then you know where to find me, okay?”  
A single tear fell down Peter’s face.  
“But-“  
“Go.”  
Peter hesitated, but finally got up from the table, releasing Johnny’s hand. He gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and turned around, ready to walk towards the to-go counter when he stopped dead still. Wade had been walking towards the front to leave when he’d glanced up and their eyes met.

And then Wade started running. Peter’s brain didn’t register what had just happened until Wade was out the door. He ran after the man, not letting him run out of his life again. Wade ran fast, but Peter was just a little faster that he caught up to the scarred man in no time. He grabbed his arm and pulled him into a nearby alley, pushing him up against a wall. Peter held his fist up throw a punch but he paused before his hand made contact with Wade’s face.

“I should punch you after what you did to me,” Peter spat.  
“Do it. I deserve it,” Wade’s voice was broken and self deprecating, mixed with a hint of fear.

Peter pulled his arm back again, willing himself to just do it, to make himself feel better. But he knew he couldn’t. Not when Wade was _right here_ again, not trying to escape and sounding so hurt himself. Not when he saw the scars on his face, none of them full. Peter wondered what the rest of his body looked like. What had Wade been doing these past few years? Peter had never seen him without a heart on his face before. As he calmed himself down, he lowered his arm.

“You and I both know that I can’t hit you, Wade.” Peter’s heart jumped at saying Wade’s name to him again.  
They were silent for a moment, neither saying anything until the silence was eating at Peter.  
“Where have you been all this time?” he asked. He had so many other questions, but this one seemed impersonal enough to ask first.  
“I haven’t gone anywhere. I’ve been in the city.” Wade sounded like he was unsure of his answer, but Peter knew he wasn’t lying.  
“You’ve been here, this whole time, and you haven’t thought to reach out to me, at all? Do you know how many times I’ve called you? I’ve texted? How many times I searched for you in all of ou- your usual places?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then why didn’t you answer me? Why didn’t you call me back? Why have you avoided me for so long? Why did you leave?” Peter was crying by the time he asked the last question.  
“I couldn’t,” Wade whispered. “I couldn’t allow myself back into your life.”  
“And why is that?”  
“Because you deserve so much better. You deserve someone that’s good for you, someone without baggage. You don’t deserve to deal with someone as fucked up as I am. I’d only bring you down. I’m no good for you.”

Peter wasn’t sure how to react. In a twisted sort of way, he was almost touched by the fact that Wade was trying to protect him. But also, he felt saddened by the fact that Wade thought so low of himself. And he was mad that Wade was so selfish in thinking he knew what was best for Peter, and that he thought it was for him to disappear from his life.

“You obviously don’t know what’s good for me then. Only I know what’s good for me. You disappearing on me? That was not good for me. You not contacting me for three damn years? That sure wasn’t fucking good for me. But our relationship? _That_ was good for me. _You_ were good for me. And I know I was good for you too. I wanted you as my boyfriend from the day we met. I wanted to marry you. I loved you, Wade. And I still do.”  
“I still love you too, Pete. But I’m so scared. I don’t want to hurt you.”  
“Why don’t you let me worry about myself, okay? And don’t worry, you’ve already hurt me enough for a lifetime. There’s no way you could ever top that.” Peter’s voice had that familiar hint of flirtiness that only Wade could really bring out.  
Wade was silent, his face a mix of guilt and happiness at Peter’s statement.  
“Listen, why don’t we go back to the apartment and figure this out? It’s getting late and I don’t want to continue this conversation in a dark alley.”  
“Sure. But what about Blondie in there? Won’t he be missing you? Who is he anyway?”   
“His name is Johnny. I met him a few months ago. We’re been dating for a while. He was also good for me. But I’d be lying if I said that what I had with him was what I truly wanted. I've only just started to really let him in and I think I've even started to love him, but I can’t be with him when I’m more in love with someone else. That wouldn’t be good for any of us. Thankfully he understands. He was the one that told me to run after you.”  
"He sounds great...I hate him," Wade joked.  
Peter laughed, a real, truly happy laugh.  
"Come on," he said, and gestured for Wade to follow him. 

 

"You still live here?"  
"It's a good apartment..."  
Peter's excuse was only half-assed. Wade gave him a look and he tried again.  
"And...well I couldn't find it in me to give it up. If I'm honest, I always hoped you might come back one day. And I couldn't bear to see someone else live there when it held so many memories that I wasn't ready to let go of yet."  
“…You're a fuckin' psychopath, you know that, Pete?"  
"Shut up," Peter laughed. He might still be upset, but he knew that he could never be around Wade for very long without smiling. Even if it’d been three years.


	7. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Big trigger warning for this chapter!! if you've been wondering where the implied self harm tag came into play, it's this chapter!!! It's brief, and the rest is very sweet, but if you get triggered easily, you may either want to skip this chapter, or at least skip the part where it talks about the self harm. (Skip from "...shove the hoodie back down" to "He jumped when..." to miss the more explcit self harm bits)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the chapter summary for trigger warning please! <3

When they finally walked into the apartment, Wade noticed right away that almost nothing had changed. Their old furniture and tv still in the same place he'd left it. The shelves that once held Wade's weird trinkets and pictures were still in the same place, though they were completely bare. The kitchen had dishes piled in the sink, but was otherwise empty and devoid of life. It all just looked...lonely.

Wade felt so guilty. This whole time being apart he'd told himself he was helping Peter. He'd told himself that Peter would have moved on with his life, forgotten about him.

"It didn't feel the same without you. I couldn't just decorate over what should have had your stuff there. I know you probably think I'm some sad little person who should have just gotten over it and moved on. Moved _out_. And I tried! I really did. I dated a lot of people trying to get over you, but it wasn't the same. It's just...you were the one for me, Wade. And it felt like I lost a part of myself when you left."  
Peter sat down on the couch and looked to Wade, silently telling him to sit down as well.  
"I'm so sorry," Wade said, facing Peter when he sat. "I really thought-"  
"You thought you were doing what's best for me. I know. But we've already established that it wasn't."  
Wade could tell that Peter was mad. And he had every right to be. He just wished that he knew how to make it better.  
"However," Peter continued, surprising Wade, "I forgive you. I spent the first two years of your absence hating you. I don't have enough hatred left to feel it now that you're here."  
Wade reached for Peter's hand, but Peter jerked his hand away before Wade could touch him.  
"Pete-"  
"It might take me some time to trust you again. To let you back in. I need you to know how much you hurt me. I understand you had good intentions, but that doesn't make how I've felt the past three years just disappear."

Wade bowed his head. The guilt he felt was almost overwhelming. If only he'd known sooner how much damage he had actually done...

He hated himself.

"But, I know you've been hurting too. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to leave either."  
"You're right. It wasn't. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I felt the most loved I'd ever had when I was with you. I know you might not understand, but my head was telling me constantly that I didn't deserve you. It still tells me that. It's telling me that right now."

Peter's face looked pained. Wade didn't like to be pitied, but Peter never looked at him with pity. He looked at him with empathy, worry, care, and most importantly, he looked at him with love.

"Wade...take off your hoodie."  
"What?"  
That was the last thing Wade had expected to come from Peter's mouth.  
"Are we about to have angry sex?"  
"Wade," Peter said flatly. "Be serious. Please, take off your hoodie."  
"I-I don't think I can do that for you, Petey."  
"Wade, it's me. You know I'd never make fun of you."  
"It's not that. I'm just not so sure you'll like what's underneath."  
"I've seen what's underneath many times. Trust me, I think I can handle it."  
"It's different now, Petey. You won't like it."  
"Please, Wade. Whatever it is, I can handle it."  
Wade knew what was underneath would hurt Peter. Peter probably figured it was just broken hearts littered across his body.

Slowly, Wade lifted his hoodie. He silently cursed himself for not wearing a shirt underneath (as if Peter would have let him keep it on anyway). As his stomach and chest were revealed, Wade heard Peter gasp softly. It took everything he had not to shove the hoodie back down.

"Wade..." Peter's voice was a whisper.

Wade finally pulled the hoodie off and dropped it on the floor. His chest was covered in scars. New scars. Not just the hearts Peter was used to. They were everywhere. In between nearly every heart on Wade's chest, stomach, and arms was a jagged line, breaking the hearts apart.

"Did you do this?"  
"They wouldn't break," Wade said, his voice shaky. "Th-they wouldn't break so I had to do it for them."  
"Oh, Wade..."

Peter had started crying.

Wade looked away, not able to look at himself nor Peter. He remembered the night he'd done it. It had been a little more than year after he'd left. The hearts that had formed from Peter's love were still there, not breaking apart like Wade wanted them to. He didn't deserve to have hearts on him. He didn't deserve love. He was ugly and disgusting and the hearts only reminded him of what he could never have. He hated them. So he took matters into his own hands and fixed the problem.

He jumped when a hand touched his chest.  
"Oh," Peter said, withdrawing his hand. "Sorry. I should have asked."  
"It's okay." Wade sat up straight and closed his eyes, giving Peter permission to touch.

Peter's hands moved slowly, grazing over every new scar on Wade's torso. Wade felt reminiscent of their first date, when Peter touched his scars for the first time. Peter was touching him the same way he had that night, but instead of curiosity, it was with sadness. When they were together, Peter would run his hands along Wade's skin all the time, proving to him that he loved every part of him. How Peter was touching him just then felt the same, and Wade hoped that Peter would still love every part of him. Even the parts that he'd destroyed.

Wade suddenly felt the warmth of another body right in front of him. When he opened his eyes, he saw Peter's face hovering over one of the scars on his chest, his eyes looking up, as if waiting for Wade to open his eyes so he could make sure he knew what was going to happen next. Without warning, Peter pressed his lips to the scar, sending a chill down Wade's spine. Then, Peter did it again to another scar, and another, and another, and another. They moved together, Wade laying down and Peter on top of him, continuously kissing the scars along his torso. At some point, Peter had stopped kissing individual scars and had moved up, trailing kisses up Wade's chest and neck and along his jawline.

"Peter..." Wade breathed out, hoping the brunette would press their lips together. He'd dreamed about kissing Peter again almost every night for the past three years. 

Peter kept going, however, and kissed up Wade's face until he reached his forehead, stopping there.

"Do you remember," Peter said, his lips against Wade's forehead as he spoke, "the first time you brought me to your apartment? Do you remember what I said to you?"  
Wade was still dazed from what had just happened and was unable to speak, so he kept quiet.  
"You called yourself a freak. But I told you that you're not a freak. I said you're beautiful and handsome. I told you that you're funny and kind and that you ramble when you're nervous. I told you that you had a pet named Ira, you called yourself Chef Wade and you'd talk in funny accents. Do you remember that, Wade?"  
Wade nodded his head gently, not wanting Peter to move his mouth from its position.  
"I got cut off, though, when I noticed you crying. Do you know what I was going to say?"  
Wade shook his head, both to answer the question and to come out of his daze.  
"I was going to say that you have more love inside you than the scars on your body. I may not have known just how true that was at first, but you more than proved that to me while we were together. You're so loving and caring. You'd always take care of me when I was sick or distressed, you looked out for others, even when they treated you differently. And you loved me with more passion and warmth than I could have ever imagined. You are so beautiful, inside and out. These past three years haven't changed any of that for me, Wade."

Peter lifted his mouth from Wade's forehead and looked at him, eye to eye. Wade moved his face up, going for a kiss, but he was met with a finger instead.  
"Do you promise to never disappear again?"  
"Yes," Wade said as Peter moved his finger away.  
"And do you promise that if you are ever having a problem, you will come to me and we will figure it out together?"  
"Yes."  
"And do you promise to let me love you, without thinking you don't deserve it?"  
"I-I will try. It might take some time. You'll have to work with me on it."  
"I promise I will. As long as you stay by my side and don't leave me at the altar again."  
"Of course. I promise I will never leave you ever again."  
"Will you love me?"  
"Yes. Yes, I-"

Peter leaned down and Wade's heart nearly burst out of his chest. He was kissing Peter. Finally. It was really happening. He wrapped his arms around Peter and pulled him closer. The kiss deepened and suddenly Wade was crying. All those years of hurt and pain were melting away as Peter kissed him. He felt something wet fall on his face and he realized Peter was crying too. How could he have been so blind to not see how much Peter needed him? He'd thought that he was draining Peter, taking so much and giving nothing back. He didn't realize that as much as Peter helped him, he helped Peter just the same. He regretted ever hurting Peter, but he would never do it again. He would never leave him again.

They fell asleep there, in each other's arms, neither letting go of the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter y'all!


	8. The Final Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is it, y'all. It's been a over a year and a half since I first started this fic (my first fic in fact!), but I've finally finished it. I hope you enjoyed this fic. It's been both my baby and the bane of my existence since Nov 2015. Thank you for those of you that have been following this fic for a long time, and thank you to new readers as well! I hope you've enjoyed the ride! I sure have! <3

~One Year Later~

 

The sun was was just going down as Wade and Peter tumbled into bed. They had a big day tomorrow and they both needed to get rest.

"You know, by the end of tomorrow, you'll be a married man," Wade said, spooning Peter from behind.  
"I should have been a married man already."  
"Are you seriously gonna hold that over my head for the rest of our lives?"  
"Of course I am." Peter patted the arm that was wrapped around him playfully.  
"I suppose it's well deserved."  
"Yes, it is."

They settled in, both content and happy, thinking about what tomorrow would bring.

"Wait," Wade said, eyes snapping open. "It's 8 fucking 'o clock, why are we going to bed right now?"  
"Well, we have to wake up early tomorrow and we need rest... Yeah, you're right. Why _are_ we going to bed at 8?" Peter rolled around to face his fiancé.  
"Why don't we have a little fun instead?" Wade wiggled his non-existent eyebrows.  
"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm saving myself for my wedding night," Peter said, pulling the covers up over his nose and batting his eyelashes.  
"That's not what you said last night."  
"Wade!" Peter giggled.  
"You're full of shit, baby boy! I'm calling you out!" Wade laughed and rocked them both side to side.  
As they settled down, they looked at each other. They were both so happy again. Peter leaned in and gave Wade a short kiss.

"I love you, Wade."  
"I love you too, Peter."

 

\--

 

Years later, their 6 year old daughter, Ellie, came home from school crying.  
"Daaaaaddddyyyyy! They said I looked funny!"  
"Who did?" Wade crouched down to be at her level.  
"The kids at school! They said I didn't look right."  
"They said that about my baby girl? Nonsense! Why on Earth would they think that?" Wade said in what Peter called his "Dad Voice."  
"Because they said my birthmark was weird."  
"Your birthmark?" Peter walked into the living room from the kitchen in their new house. "What's wrong with your birthmark?"  
"They said that normal kids don't have a big birthmark on their face, an-and that it looks weird because it's a heart," she said, tears streaming down her face.

Ellie, Wade's birth daughter and Peter's adopted, who they got through a surrogate mother, had a big birthmark on her right cheek, in the shape of a heart.

"You're not a normal kid! You're _my_ kid. And your pop's kid. And that makes you special," Wade said.   
"Darling, come here." Peter sat on the floor and pulled Ellie into his lap, wiping her face. "Do you know what my favorite part about you is? Well, other than who you are on the inside?"  
"No," her tiny voice said.  
"Your birthmark."  
"Really?"  
"Yes, ma'am. Do you want to know why?"  
"Uh-huh!"  
"Because it reminds me of your dad."  
Her little face looked over at Wade, who threw a little wave her direction.  
"Because he has marks like mine?"  
"Exactly. Because every time I look at you, I can see your dad too. And I'm reminded of how much I love him, and how much he loves me. And how that love brought you to us."  
She smiled, already feeling better from her parents' kind words.  
"Am I pretty?" she said suddenly, making her dads look at each other in surprise.  
"Of course you are sweetie, mark and all." Wade put a hand on her soft cheek.  
"I think you're pretty too, daddy."  
With that, she got up from her pop's lap and ran to her room as Wade and Peter laughed happily at their daughter's remark.

"I think you're pretty too," Peter said, pressing a kiss to his husband's cheek.  
"Thanks, baby boy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you wondering, don't worry about Johnny. Remember the waitress from the first chapter? She saw the whole thing in the restaurant, and sat down where Peter was sitting to make sure he was okay. Turns out they have a lot in common. ;)

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic, please leave a comment, and/or consider buying me a [coffee!](http://ko-fi.com/natdashg)


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